Sorting Laundry

Saturday, April 30, 2005

Get your #2 Pencils ready. . .

In honor of my impending math placement exam, I have decided to warm up by taking some online tests. (See posts below.) Luckily for me, these don't have any bearing on my academic standing....

Okay, Einstein...



What Famous Leader Are You?
personality tests by similarminds.com

Faith goes to the movies??



What Classic Movie Are You?
personality tests by similarminds.com

A case of cold feet, and a vocabulary lesson.

So... Miss Jennifer Wilbanks ran away from home, literally, to avoid marriage.

Hmm. . .

If I had just done this seven years ago. . .

Though I suppose it would have been silly. Since I eloped.

Eloping is running off. So running away from eloping. . . Hmm. . .

Elope. Elopement. Eloper.

While we are at it, here's a good word:

Defenestrate.

"If you don't knock it off, I will be forced to defenestrate
you."

"Sheila was caught in the act of defenestration."

"Close the door! Can't you see I'm defenestrating!"

Here's another one:

Osculate.

"Oh, my! I would never consider osculating before marriage!"

Or how about these?

Gesticulate.

"Mom, how old were you when you started gesticulating?"

Masticate.

"Could you please find somewhere a little more private to masticate? You are making us all uncomfortable."

----------------

I need to get a life.



Maybe after I matriculate. . .

Sunday, April 24, 2005

Gift Idea from faith

Dear Sorting Laundry Readers,

There is nothing I covet more than this lovely pink tool set. In fact, I may get my daughter one for her birthday. (On second thought, that might not be so wise, considering she is already so adept at taking things apart. But, I may be able to teach her to fix things. We'll see...)

faith wanted us to share this ABC TV Store Gift Idea with
you. Find the Extreme Makeover: Home Edition Women's Tool Kit that faith wants
at http://abctvstore.shopthescene.com/detail.php?p=1733.
Copy and paste this link into your web browser for easy shopping.

Visit the ABC TV Store today to find the special gift
requested by faith.

Happy Shopping!

Sincerely,

faith and Your Friends at the ABC TV Store

Saturday, April 23, 2005

The Day in Which I Allow Myself to Be Interviewed by Jamelah

Why did you decide to start a blog?
To assuage my irrational feelings of self-importance.


Why is math so evil?

Anything that can not be naturally discussed in the course of normal conversation is evil. One can not discuss mathematics in normal* public discourse any more than one can discuss their evil terrorist plans without scorn, derision and possible death threats. It's that simple.

*Clarification - discussing the fact that math is evil does not count. Here I am referring to such discussions as this:

"Hi, Theodore, what did you do this weekend?"
"I just wrote 'Computer programs that numerically investigate the behavior of the Newton quotient of a function at a point. In this case, the function is not differentiable at the given point but the limit of the symmetric difference quotient exists.'"
(italicized text is a quote from "Visual Calculus", a website that describes itself as "A collection of modules that can be used in the studying or teaching of calculus.")


Why did you decide to go back to school?

Um, to study math. . .

Actually, there were a number of factors that went into my decision, so I'll share the most influential one:

A career at Wal-Mart just does not appeal to me.

How old is (are) your child(ren)? What's one of your favorite things about him/her/them?

My son is 6. My daughter is 3.

One of my favorite things about my son is his creativity. I'd share some of it, but he swears he is going to get all of his artwork copyrighted and his inventions patented first; and I have been sworn to secrecy.

Sorry.

One of my favorite things about my daughter is that she sleeps nine hours or so each night, allowing me to see her in an activity that does not include writing on the walls with permanent marker, grinding torn-up cheese slices into the living-room carpet, spilling juice on the television or making notes in my books with lip-gloss.

Okay, this is kind of cheating because I already asked someone else this question, but I still think it's a good thing to ask. No cheating and picking more than one -- what is the BEST SONG EVER?


The best song EVER?
"The Big Rock Candy Mountain"
by: Harry "Haywire Mac" McClintock
"Oh the buzzin' of the bees/In the cigarette trees/Near the soda water fountain/At the lemonade springs/Where the bluebird sings/On the big rock candy mountain"
Just think if cigarettes really grew on trees!

We actually sang this in my elementary school music class, and I think the cigarette part must have been censored out. Did you know they actually have the lyrics to this song (though they call it "Big Rock Candy Mountains") on the National Institute of Environmental Health Sciences (NIEHS) website?

Fascinating.
Luckily for us, they have left a lovely disclaimer:
"Remember, although this is a fun song to learn and sing, having such easy access to cigarettes and alcohol would not actually be a "good" thing. Smoking and alcohol addictions are harmful to your health. " -NIEHS
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Let it hereby be known that Jamelah has commanded that all of her interviewees must offer to interview anyone brave enough to ask. If you would like to be interviewed by me, you are more than welcome to ask.


Same rules apply (courtesy of Jamelah):
"1. Leave me a comment saying “interview me.”
2. I will respond by asking you five questions here.
3. You will update YOUR blog with the answers to the questions.
4. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview someone else in the same post.
5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions."

Monday, April 11, 2005

"I'm Plum Tuckered Out!"

I actually worked today after approximately 2 months off. Amazing how sitting at a computer for four hours will wear you out...

Just want to give a "shout out" to Northwestern University Health Services. (Yes, I said, "Shout Out". Yes, I am tired.) They rock. When my sorry-excuse-for-a-family-practitioner supposedly lost my immunization records, NU came through for me, and sent my records with lightning speed. Did I say they rock? I would name my first born after them, but then, it's a little late for that.

(Note: The reason I so desperately needed said records is because I can't register for classes without them, unless I convert to a religion that forbids immunizations, or feign an affiliation with such a religion. And... since I am really too busy to convert, and have an over-active conscience that keeps me from successfully lying without losing months of sleep, I needed those records. And that is why NU rocks. Go Cats! )

Let's see? What else is new?
Um... pollen sucks.
The pollen count today where I live was: VERY HIGH.

They actually have an alert system somewhat similar to the Gov't Alert system.
(I pay more attention to the Allergy Alert. Truly.)

uasfhbkjnewf gvuy9r0ewugh09we438u9gviplpj 790haew
Oops, sorry! I sneezed and bumped the keyboard.

Monday, April 04, 2005

The Joys of Math

As you may have noted from my little blog description, I plan on going back to college after some time off (read: 9 years). Because it has been so long since I have taken math, I have to take a placement exam for college math, the COMPASS exam.

It may seem odd, but I have been "studying" up for the exam.

You see, my first college was a Private Big 10 School that has a notoriously poor football team (although they did make it to the Rose Bowl in 1995-96 season, and choked). Now I am planning on attending a small, southern state college. (Why? Because it's close by and my tuition is paid for. Strong enough reasons, I guess.) Because I am sooooo old, they have deemed me a "Nontraditional Student". So, even though I was enough of a smarty-pants to get into and do well at the school I first attended, I still have to jump through certain hoops. And, if I screw up on the math exam, I have to take a "remedial" math course. Which would be a big blow to the small amount of ego I have left.

"How long have you been out of high school? Mmm Hmm. Well, most of the Non-traditional students end up in the 'Learning Support' math course. Very few prove us wrong."

All right, lady. The bet's on.

So, I have purchased a book called Maths: A Student's Survival Guide
A Self-Help Workbook for Science and Engineering Students
by Jenny Olive
. And I am brushing up on my math. Yeah, it says "Science and Engineering Students". Yeah, most of it makes me cross-eyed and gives me a headache just thinking of it. But, I did manage to do enough "factorising" (yes, Ms. Olive is from across the pond) to make me feel like I just might finally get it.

I'm only in the first chapters. We shall see. Pray that I don't choke like my Wildcats did in '96.

Sunday, April 03, 2005

Shall I Insert Generic Welcome Here??

Welcome. . . Or as Dante would say, "Abandon all hope, you who enter here."

Yes, Sorting Laundry, on an average day, may well be one of the circles of good ole' Hades.

I suppose if we start off on a sour note, things may only get sweeter. . .